REEL CLASSIC



PRESS RELEASE

In an unprecedented announcement today (Spring 1939), a young woman from Great Britain, has been picked above some of Hollywoods's best actresses to play the part of Scarlett O'Hara in a big blockbuster movie.

As a matter of fact, executives anticipate that the role and the film (to be released after the new year)will probably spawn several decades.

#Grace, who has no acting experience whatsoever, but who has always confessed her love of entertainment, has yet to really make her splash on the movie scene.

"I am a hopeless romantic" reported #Grace. So when the director Victor Fleming announced he was looking for someone to play a manipulative woman to carry on a turbulent love affair with a roguish man in the American South during the Civil War, I saw it as somewhat of a challenge."

For their part, studio bosses are keeping mum about why she was chosen above aspiring actresses such as Lana Turner, Kathryn Hepburn and Joan Crawford but could only comment that she had that certain something which they were looking for.

When approached, producer David O Selznick was reported to have told the press that he "took one look at her and knew she was right for the part - at least as far as his concept of how Scarlett should look."

Bosses say he ' is always on the lookout for new talent and will seek to find it in the most obscure places.' Executives are dismissing speculation that he went undercover at her workplace to find someone who would be appropriately 'placed' in the film to look after the casualties in the battle scene.

#Grace is reported to be feeling very 'humble" at being chosen above experienced actresses and looking forward to working alongside Clark though she had been warned that she might have to cope with his bad breath during the kissing scenes which the producer told her was attributed to his false teeth. That only sought to amuse #Grace who was looking forward to giving him some good professional mouthcare, in more ways than one,at the end of a days filming.

The aspiring actress knew she would have to work very long and hard hours from early morning until late evening in addition to practicing a Southern accent for hours on end. As a Londoner this was to be her greatest challenge yet but after many diction lessons she was able to successfully add the right touch of molasses to her cropped American dictionary.

#Grace made only one stipulation before accepting the role. That, on no account, should black and white actors be segregated on the film set nor any mention of the Klu Klux Klan be made.

Having heard of the young lady's concerns, an 'extra' on the set who wishes to be annonymous alerted Clark Gable to the fact and subsequently the producer agreed to her terms and conditions, following allegations that she would borrow Blue Mink's melting pot and churn out coffee-coloured actors by the score. Now that would have messed up the script rather with years in the making!


With any perceived issues having been ironed out #Grace hoped she would give Mr. O Selznick good value for his money having learned that he had spent in the region of $50,000 for the rights to make the film. She aspired to become part of an immortal cast in a hopefully, timeless classic tale of a love-hate romance during the American Civil War.















COTTON PICKING GRACE

As I enter my spacecraft, I set the clock for some seventy years in the past which has now landed me right in the middle of 1867.

My looks and personality have undergone a radical change as I now find myself on the right side of 20 living an idyllic life at a North Georgian cotton plantation called Tara. I am beautiful but spoilt. My pouting high temper and strong willed personality remains intact but a shameless flirt has emerged!

At the lavish ball that I have thrown I detect the sweet smell of testosterone as I tease my drooling beaux-admirers about which ones I will allow to waltz with me. My charming ball gown swirls gently in folds of exquisite red silk, it's simple neckline enhanced by an elegant array of while lace delicately traced with diamonte studs. Who can resist? As I have a different home and clothes I also have to adjust my linguistic wardrobe which is not easy, I can tell you.

None of these guys have the looks of Brad Pitt nor the charm of George Clooney but Ashley - well there's a different story. He is kind, caring and dashing and does not know I have been harbouring this secret love for him for years. As I overhear tittle tattle here at the big house that he is to marry his cousin Melanie I am overcome with grief. Unlike me she is demure, sweet natured and from aristotic stock and I am green with envy. Should have got a dress to match.

I know Ashley wants me only he does not know it yet. So when this guy called Rhett turns up at the ball boasting a most terrible reputation with the ladies I cannot help but respond to his sexually attractive gaze in a bid to make Ashley jealous.


Poor old Ashley will have to find out about love for himself. Whether dear Mel will warm his heart or burn his house down, that was something he will have to find out for himself. Jealous I might be but as a true capricorn I have this knack of being able to conceal my feelings until it suits me to show my hand.

All this talk of war is spoiling the fun of my party. I am so bored I could scream. I shall go out and have some fun. I am fed up with sensible men, I need a roguish man to keep me on my toes. Where is Rhett when I need him?

Oh Fiddle-dee-dee. Now the war has taken hold and the director is calling in his marker. There are thousands of wounded and dying soldiers pouring into Atlanta and I have been paired up with 'dear' Mel to provide medical care at the area of combat. But it is great - I have just been given a pass to ride in an army ambulance alongside some woman called Clara Barton.

I have appauled at how extremely disorganised and substandard conditions are out here. Seems a lesson or two in Universal Precautions is needed though there is no time to think about such things right now. Poor babies, their wounds are doomed never to heal without sterile dressings and I fear more amputations will follow. I cannot cope with this - is supposed to be respite from my usual job so I have abandoned my post and gone back to Tara.

Besides, Rhett will be returning home soon and I need to look good for him. I can't have my hands all blood-stained.

Meanwhile Studio 2 is in desperate need of a stand-in for Liz Taylor who has failed to turn up for the big screening of Raintree County and seeing as I am already dressed for the part they grab me with both hands. After all, I am already a wilful southern belle but here I can match Melanie as I am now a lady of aristocracy who gets everything she wants. Hope Rhett never finds out what I have been up to. He will never forgive me for charming Montgomery Clift into a romantic trance, seducing him and trapping him into marriage by falsely saying I am pregnant - all this while he is away fighting for the cause.

What would Prissy, my faithful maid, say if she found out that I may be half black - the thought of which is driving me insane. Well, I would have to be mad to have 116 dolls on my bed, now wouldn't I?

Fiddle-dee-dee I tell Monty I am bored again and need to have some fun before I leave the set.

"Let's start by geting rid of these dam-ed dolls" he says and so we both start smashing my entire pile of china dolls against a wall. This is great fun - beats picking cotton! And with that I return to Studio 1.

Rhett has returned from the war but still too stubborn to admit my feelings for him, as I was before he went away, I have lost him. This is a crying shame. He loved me because we were alike - bad lots the both of us; selfish and shrewd but able to look things in the eye and call them by their right name. Oh well!


I have also let Prissy go. I figured that sooner or later someone somewhere would invent the Human Rights Act and I did not want to be branded a slave driver. Nursing soldiers from the North and South made me learn to be a little more compassionate. My parting gift to her was the one doll I did not smash which was disfigured and burnt in a fire when I was a girl. The fire that killed Mammy. I thought she might appreciate it.

So, here I am all alone at Tara. Still. all is not lost. It means I can now watch my soaps without interruption and one evening if I am feeling particularly melancholy I can put on a DVD of "Gone With The Wind" and cry my selfish little heart out. My only criticism would be that the length of a film should, to quote Alfred Hitchcock, be 'directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.' I may need to put it on pause now and again.

I know I shall return to Raintree County some day and look for the golden raintree. If I should ever find it then I know that I will find the secret to life itself. I might even find a money tree along the way, then I can give up nursing for peanuts and as god is my witness I shall never go hungry again.

Having passed through the dream factory that was Hollywood I shall never forget giving Clark a ride in my time machine as we set the Satellite Navigtion system to head for Atlanta for the grand premiere where we attended lots of balls, parades and parties.

Having survived the war, given Ashley up gracefully and tended to the dying and wounded, the melodramatic format of Gone With The Wind tested my character in terms of resolute endurance, sacrificial acts and steadfast bravery.



Receiving a standing ovation for my part as Scarlett was awesome. It was a privilege to have been able to play the part of one who, in spite of having whims and caprices of a spoiled beauty, also had real hovering demons.

By contrast, in real life I have never owned a cotton plantation and living in Sevenoaks at some stage in my life was no comparison to Twelve Oaks. With not even a quarter of an acre of land, my little back garden was definitely not worth fighting for, worth dying for and was definitely not the only thing that mattered back then. Spoiled beauty I have not, hovering demons ... hmm - debatable!

Still, "for one night only" as they say, I had the chance to fix my hair, put on my gladrags and take a walk down the famous red carpet and get closer than ever to the biggest and brightest 'bash' award show on earth.

My saddest regret is giving Prissy that doll. How was I to know that come 1995 she would be severely burnt trying to light a kerosene heater one winter which burst into flames and to which she died a few days afterwards. I see it as a bad omen. If only I were psychic instead of psychotic.

Somehow I had lost my taste for 'black humour.' I had only known her as prissy but later I learned her real name was Butterfly McQueen. I hope she landed in a nice place!!

It has been reported that she donated her body to medical science. Maybe I ought to follow suit and see what the professionals would make of me - purely in the interest of entertainment, of course!

On reflection, how rife was the cinematic world with prejudice in my younger days. The fact that most black actors and actresses in Hollywood were cast as servants in the old films, as was Butterfly, suggests to me a sense of irresponsibility to the Public as to the subliminal messages they were putting out. How 'politically incorrect' this would be nowadays.

Nevertheless in my mind old classic films such as this, and let's face it, they don't get any more classic than this, conditioned their stars to capture each subsequent generation as they have something to say in a language that everyone can understand about human emotions and vulnerability.











Scarlett through the looking glass..
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Rhett and Scarlett..
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A closed case

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Unions and Confederates
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Both fighting for the cause
Elizabeth & Montgomery
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The Dolls of Raintree County