 With previous reference having been made of my desire to write my memoirs I knew there was only way I could ever hope to enter the world of journalism and that would be to learn to touch type. This would seek to put a more professional slant on my material and add credence to any CV. So,when, at the age of 16, it came to choosing my 'options' at the local comprehensive school I was delighted that typing was on the agenda. I can vividly recall the first typewriter that I learned on. It was an Olivetti. We had two types at our school - the Pica and Elite. So how did they differ I can hear you say? Well, in a nutshell, the Pica typed 10 characters per inch and the Elite 12. Unlike the modern day computers there was no option to be able to change the size of the type from a drop down menu. I used to love the sound of the old manual typewriters - the indispensible tool that was used by professional writers and in business offices in those days. It took a lot of effort to push down on the keys back then and my dexterity these days would no doubt see me jamming more keys than I did some 30 years ago. Then there was the arduous task of changing the ribbons which alternated between black and red only - what a dirty job that was. I remember being greatly satisfied if I were to maintain clean hands even after handling carbon paper which was the only way, back then, to make copies of my work without having to type everything all over again. However, the numbr of sheets of paper and carbon paper that could fit in the machine was very limited. A far cry from modern day printers that continue to reproduce work indefinitely at the control of the user. I look back in amusement when the only way to correct mistakes was to go back the precise number of spaces (which was a mission it itself) and type the incorrect letter(s) again with a piece of tippex paper between the key and the paper itself. There was little room for error during the exams so the extra typing lessons for which I stayed behind after school paid off with a Grade I O'Level. How I used to love the sound of the alarm bell that rang when one got to the end of the page and took great delight at pushing the carriage return lever to take me to the start of the next line where I could continue my works. I learned to touch type at 70 words per minute in those days which was pretty good and I can just about remember the introduction of what was termed a 'Golf Ball ' typewriter in which the print mechanism moved back one space and automatically overtyped any spelling errors. When, one christmas, my parents bought me my first electric/portable typewriter (with case) I recall struggling with the keys at first as the keyboard was somewhat flatter than I had been used to and I thought I would never get the hang of it. It was a case of Oh 'Brother', if one would excuse the pun!! This was only one of the many makes around then. Nowadays I like to consider that present of mine as somewhat of a "halfway house" in that it was somewhere between the manual typewriter of yesteryear and the modern day computer that now affords me the opportunity to reflect in this way. So how does this all fit into my fantastical world of entertainment I hear you ask. Well, my mission (should I choose to accept it) is to focus on how the film industry aspired me to go on and become a secretary for a well known vehicle leasing company until such time as I traded my job in to become a housewife and mother. The company to which I refer has since ceased trading but without breaking any confidentiality the clue would be found in the name of both the Jamaican muscian who led the Wailers to success in the music industry and the business partner of Ebenezer who's spirit was forced to drag around a heavy chain to denote his greed and selfishness. And that is where the similarity ends. So, in the world of tv and films how would I utilise my typing skills and get enjoyment at the same time. Let's see... Christmas in Connecticut  What TYPE of food can I conjure up on my olivetti? As I travel back to 1945 to Connecticut I become Elizabeth Lane - columnist for 'Housewife magazine. Looking somewhat like Barbara Stanwyk I write an enticing description of the exquisite meals I prepare for my husband and family which earns me the title of 'Americas' Best Cook.' A writer I might be but I am a gal who can only cook on a typewriter. Fortunately I have an Uncle Felix to help me with the christmas dinner else it will be hit or miss. Please guys give them the money..  .... don't let them take my typewriter. I do not think much of the Room Service back in 1938. My room mates, the Marx brothers have let me down - not paid the rent- and now some employee of the 'We Never Sleep' Collection Agency is about to show up to repossess my typewriter which is the only thing I have of any real value. Little do they know I have taken it to the lunatic asylum with me... Jessica is puzzled as to how to do the jigsaw  It is a real mystery to her As amateur sleuth and mystery writer Jessica Fletcher I myself shall commit to writing about the perfect murder if anyone were to try and steal my machine. After all my manual typewriter, ancient though it may be, is my signature and the opening credits to my tv series would not be the same if my viewers did not see me tapping merrily away on it whilst working on yet another mystery novel. Mission Impossible  The Original Cast I love the idea of being an "Unseen Secretary" to the Impossible Mission Force (IMF) giving out tasks - should Jim Phelps (a.k.a. Peter Graves) and his team wish to accept them and being able to chronicle the adventures of these government spies and specialists between 1966 and 1973 following a prime spot in the CBS TV line up. Codename...  Enigma The most perfect role for me would be to take the place of Kate Winslet in the film Enigma. I love the idea of being able to try my hand at stealing the super-jacked typewriter that the Nazis used during the war to send coded messages and would have great fun at trying to unscramble them just to prove to the Germans that their enigma encrypted communication is not impenetrable to my fellow Brits. Of course, I would have to spend hours researching on the Net to be able to learn how to use the notched wheels ( I believe there are 3, possibly 5) and how to rotate them so that they display different letters of the alphabet. I should need to know the exact settings of these rotators in order to reconstitute the coded text but it would be beyond my wildest dreams if I were to succeed. Someone you meet on the street..  .. might already be the love of your life. " I turn on my computer, I wait patiently as it connects. My breath catches my chest until I hear 3 little words "YOU'VE GOT MAIL". I hear nothing, not a sound on the streets of New York. Just the beat of my own heart. I have mail .... from you." How wonderful would it be to fall in love with someone on the Internet only to find out that it is the same person who is supposed to be my enemy. Hope he has a dog else I shall never get to meet him in the park and learn that love is the only thing capable of turning an enemy into a friend. He would have to have better dress sense than Forest Gump of course as this little shopgirl has a rep to protect! With the right credentials...  oh well - no matter!! Of course, if I had the legs for it - I would have no trouble getting the job, would I? |